Conflicts are inevitable in any marital relationship, and we must learn from them and evolve to become a better couple and human beings. Herein recounting Biblical teachings that are immensely helpful in ironing out marital disparities.
No two persons who descend on the planet are same. From behaviour and personality traits to interests and preferences; from attitudes to responses, every individual is different. These disparities can lead to misunderstandings and sometimes escalate into conflicts in the relationship.
Continue reading to bring harmony to your married life!
Address issues with the Right Attitude
Conflicts are a good sign that we are human. Instead of deteriorating the relationship, they will strengthen the mutual bond, provided we counter them with a positive attitude.
Conflicts, as highlighted in Romans 5:3-5 and James 1:2-3 test our faith which, in turn, produces endurance. The same is echoed in James’ words:
“My brothers and sisters, consider it nothing but joy when you fall into all sorts of trials because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance.”
Takeaways: Don’t get bogged down by conflict. Accept it as the opportunity offered to you to understand each other and strengthen your bond. You will come to know that a little patience could have helped you skip it. However, it’s never too late to take the right step.
Perseverance is the Key
Maintaining a healthy relationship is like participating in a marathon. To win it, you need to have perseverance. This will help you move ahead and make every attempt to sort out the conflicts even if there might have been setbacks earlier.
In this regard, Romans 5:3-4 is an important reference from the Scriptures. It states that perseverance is an extension of endurance. James recommends we should rejoice in sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance, character, and character, hope. Gradually, the endurance and perseverance make you optimistic in life.
Takeaways: Don’t try to douse the fire of conflict with shortcuts. Instead, adopt a comprehensive approach that helps you understand each other. Have confidence and faith in yourself.
Handle it by Sowing Good Seeds
As you sow, so shall you reap – this is the simplest rule of the universe that you might have come across many a time. Remember, Newton’s Third Law of Motion!. When there is a conflict, don’t lose your temper. If it has reached an unmanageable level, consider staying quiet for some time. Examine your words and actions and then put your best foot forward to resolve it.
The same has been emphasized by Paul in the Bible (Gal 6:7). He tells his disciples: Do not be deceived. God will not be made a fool. For a person will reap what he sows.
Takeaways: Never return in the same coin because that will only worsen the situation. Remember, a relationship is not a battlefield. Recall the moments when your spouse stood up for you when the whole world was against you. One mistaken act should not wipe off the past goodness.
Talk to Your Spouse First
A healthy mutual discussion between the partners can remedy most of the marital conflicts. Hence, it is good to initiate it at the earliest. Never wait for your spouse to do it. Taking the discussion outside of the relationship shall be the last attempt to sort out conflict.
In Matthew 18.15, Christ says: “If your brother sins against you go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.”
Takeaways: You know better about your spouse than anybody else. So, break the ice before seeking any external help to solve your marital challenges.
Seek Help from a Wise Counsellor if needed
Sounds contradictory to what was discussed just above? It is actually a wise take which Christ also emphasized in Matthew 18:16-17. He considered calling in other individuals and Church in the matter if either of the persons in the relationship is not willing to listen to the other.
Delaying the intervention only spoils the fabrics of relationship. Hence, a partner in conflict should seek immediate help. This is what Saint Paul wrote in his Epistles, “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”
The Bible’s guide to a healthy relationship is beneficial and purposeful. It can make a significant difference to your attitude and responses to family and friends in a conflicting relationship. Apply the guidance in your own life. You will be happier and at peace with yourself and your relationship.
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