“I have taken you in my arms, and I love you, and I prefer you to my life itself. For the present life is nothing, and my most ardent dream is to spend it with you in such a way that we may be assured of not being separated in the life reserved for us… I place your love above all things, and nothing would be more bitter or painful to me than to be of a different mind than you.” (CCCVV 2365)
This quote comes directly from about twenty centuries ago, when time preserved what the Archbishop of Constantinople, St. John Chrysostom mentioned in one of his prolific pieces of writing. A renowned representative of Catholics everywhere, what he wants husbands all around the world to say to their wives is something that stresses on the need to stay connected in a family, sharing sorrows and happiness throughout the sweet and bitter treads of life, without one exerting their power on the other. Love, relished in all its glory.
Love has long since been considered as a heavenly intuition, an emotion or feeling that cannot be associated to any earthly element. The Saint tells husbands that the love that they feel for their wives is an emotion that heaven has bestowed upon them, and thus it must never be belittled as its value is incomparable, except to that of one’s own life. The noble saint, with all his eloquence of sheer romantic verse and a name that roughly translates to ‘Golden tongue’ in English, wants to spread a message that Indifference might be the cause of sorrow in relationships. Written with an instruction for husband that the quote be told to their wives, the Archbishop not only puts words in the mouth of these men, but also puts thoughts in their heads. Just remembering the last part of the quote- ‘and nothing would be more bitter or painful to me than to be of a different mind than you’ would suffice for any couple to know what they have to do be happy with their loved ones. Anyone who has ever uttered or heard this quote would immediately be able to recognize a moment of indifference as soon as it occurs, which creates a unique sense of understanding between the husband and wife.
What has been described most beautifully is the concept of heavenly home, to which the life on earth is merely a probation period – a mere state of existence while God prepares our home for the afterlife. However, the lines explain why this is no reason to not enjoy life on earth, and carry on all that you can do as a couple to make heaven here on earth – for according to the reverend Bishop, the way you live your life on earth determines how you live it in the heavens. Not only is this part of the verse beautiful, it would remind the listener of the strength and perseverance that their partner has undertaken to preserve their love.
Such concepts are in parallel with modern philosophies and one cannot help but marvel how a clergyman from the 1st Century has, with so much simplicity and elegance, took the task of explaining the mechanisms for relationships which stands relevant even in this myriad chaos of the 21st century.
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