“Love is the greatest refreshment in life.”
Marriage is an institution where couples come to learn many lessons. Some on love, some on compatibility and some on tolerance…the list goes on. But, when one comes to ponder about its nuances and idiosyncrasies, marriage of two gullible individuals is in itself still a mystery for many.
The world is now undergoing a paradigm transformation: we now have strong women and gentle men! In every man, believed Freud, there is a woman, and in every man, a woman. The days of dependability of a woman expecting the rudiments of living from a man, is rapidly coming to an end.
Young women are now brasher, more confident and self-dependent. Thanks to the internet and social media, they easily could come in terms of the virtual world, which has thrown open exciting vistas and a plethora of knowledge banks from where they could draw insight and wisdom on many criteria, especially human relationships.
Paradoxically, while women’s liberation is running its course, the straitjacketing of roles ever continues. When the Saviour walked the land, the role of the man as the provider and the woman as the nurturer made sense. The demands of child-rearing were quite different then, and women were much more the weaker sex, debilitated as they were by frequent pregnancies and consequent ill-health.
The role of the provider, too, involved hunting in a hostile environment, leaving men little scope for cultivating their emotions or imagination.
The fundamentals of modern society are completely different, thanks to the information age, which is impartial to both men and women; if anything, women have an edge because of better communication skills and enormous reserves of patience, developed through the nurturing role, all along.
Nevertheless, independence, aggression and other male traits are at a premium in the corridors of power. But old taboos of gender remain as rigid. Fathers still train sons not to weep, while little girls are reproved for being tomboys. They are instructed to remain neat, play passive games and their spirit of adventure is dampened at an early age.
While other parameters of men and women’s lifestyle like food and clothing have dramatically made a crossover breaking many a barrier, we still seem to have two incomplete and alienated sexual races, each with their preconditioned limitations and yearnings, don’t we?
The good Lord, when creating the world in all its finery, has biologically embedded the impulse to dress up and dazzle as a masculine trait for bridegrooms, evident in species such as the peacock and the butterfly!
But as one can see now, it is a compelling prerogative to the brides and bridesmaids these days, to exhibit feminine frills and fancies to an all new romantic high….
All said and done, the smartest way to interpret and mutually gain out of a newly found relationship is to have a stronger sense of self-esteem, patience, flexibility, empathy, interdependence, resilience and above all, love!
This magical “a little yin, a little yang” attribute brings about overlapping male-female polarities, resulting in complete integrated personalities who enjoy a fulfilling “live happily ever after” utopian dream.
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