Every coin has two sides, just like most people have two faces.
There are times in your life that you’ll be surprised by the nonchalant behaviour of your friends. Your wedding may be one such event. You may share all the secrets of your new found love and life; without even slightly realising the murky menace of some of your friends who will turn green with envy – behind your back!
A candid enemy is better than a false friend. When you are in doubt during the ceremonies, carefully pay more attention to what people do and less to what they say. Some friends’ actions may not only speak louder than words, they are more difficult to fake.
Be wary of whom you share your intimate thoughts and wishes; remember that not every friend who smiles at you is your true friend…
Our relationships are based on the positions we adopt. When our positions change, like in a marriage, either the relationship must shift and accommodate the change, or it will crumble.
Many think that truth can be hidden with a little cover-up and decoration. Nonetheless, as time goes by, what is true is revealed and what is fake fades away!
When you were single, you would have shared a lot with your friends. But sometimes, during or after marriage, you would need to change your perception about them. You might ‘discover’ things about them that you don’t like! Perhaps they had always been there but suddenly, they were predominant….
The fallout of knowing people very well is that there comes a time when you see a side you don’t find very attractive anymore!
Sometimes, during this perplexing period along life’s journey, you may notice and realize the notion that ‘friendships are forever’ is an idealistic one. In the past, it is known that friendships were developed over laughter, conversation, and sharing of food.
Now, that sense of “timelessness” is slowly disappearing. Friendships don’t just “happen” anymore. They have to be cultivated and nurtured, thanks to social media!
Time has be created in the midst or end of a harried week (you may even be tempted to call it “hurried” week!) to see friends. We are often forced to outgrow a friendship due to constraints on time and energy, to dispense with relationships that give us less satisfaction than expected.
Fake friends are like shadows; always near you at your brightest moments, but nowhere to be seen at your darkest hour. This is the time to let go! Every friendship belongs to a particular time in our lives. Deciding which ones to keep and which to let go is healthy and necessary.
Outgrowing relationships is natural and sometimes, part of the process of change that each of us undergoes. During matrimony, when our lives change, the terms of our friendships also change.
As psychologist Susan Quilliam says, “If you don’t update your friendship then it will either end messily or the two of you will just drift apart.”
Hmmm….that makes one ponder whether the same paradigm would apply to the married couples as well!
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