Every relationship has its ups and downs, and marital relationship is no exception. The union of two different souls can come in conflict due to various reasons or misunderstandings. However, that doesn’t mean you should give up. Perhaps, it’s best to make a positive attempt to mend the tear, on our own, first. Here we go with our say on effective and practical tips to sustain and nurture a good Christian relationship, inspired by experiences and the Bible that can be followed in letter and spirit.
- Learn the Simple Rule – You before I
Marriages are based on trust and love. A lopsided or imbalanced relationship cannot be the foundation of a successful marriage. Couples need to learn to give first. The giving is bound to come back with a sweet result. Never expect to gain first because expectation is a kind of selfishness that deteriorates the relationship.
- Happy Marriage is a Union of Two Forgivers
The above quoted by Ruth Bell Graham, a noted philanthropist, poet, and author years ago, is relevant even in the present time. It is genuinely rooted in the Colossians 3:13 narrative of the Bible. The Holy Book says that as God treats everyone as His beloved child and showers His best blessings and forgives their sin, so should we strive to be gentle towards our life partner and be ready to forgive him or her.
- There Are Always Two Sides to a Coin
To resolve any marital issues, both the partners should come to the level ground first. Each should listen to his or her partner with great patience. In this regard, tolerance is appreciable. Even if an intervention of a third party, i.e., a counsellor or elderly relative, becomes a must, both shall approach the relationship therapist together. This will help each one to put forth their views, and the counsellor to come up with an unbiased decision to handle the relationship challenge.
- Don’t Succumb to Anger
Anger makes our mind blind. We lose the cognitive thinking to differentiate between what is right and what is wrong. Ephesians 4:16 is a very key verse in the Bible that is often referred by Christian marriage counsellors to iron out the differences. It emphasizes on keeping discussions at bay when the couples are full of anger. It advises them to go into seclusion and practice meditation. The self-realization helps them identify their mistakes and also interpret the other’s point of views in a better way.
- Attend Couple/Marriage Seminars Together
Social interaction and engagement might not help you directly, but it does provide learning and inspiration that can make your life harmonious and provide clues regarding how to solve or settle marital disputes. Someone’s bitter experience can also help you skip some potential relationship issues. Moreover, in such seminars, you come across elders who are a repository of unparalleled experiences and learning.
- Read Christian Marriage Counselling Books
Books are best friends of human beings. Life is no less than an exam. Invest in biblical reference books like Couple Skills: Making Your Relationship Work (Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning), especially focused on relationship. Sharing knowledge helps. Don’t hesitate to share your Christian relationship books with others if you benefitted from them. You will feel the divine pleasure by making a difference in someone’s life.
- Subscribe to One Single Rule
Do opposites attract to form better marriages? The laws of physics need not apply to relationships. Like-minded couples are likely to have a more harmonious relationship than the opposite-minded ones. We base our argument on some supreme principles of the Bible. If you both subscribe to the same philosophy, you make yourself answerable to the same authority; you will hardly come into a conflict mode.
Yes, marriage is a treaty between two individuals “to stick together through thick and thin, till death do us apart” – the covenant signed at the altar before the Almighty. No matter what roller-coaster ride it takes us through, we need to hang on together, holding each other, supporting each other and surviving it all with love and understanding.
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